Welcome to my happy place.
I cannot stress enough how important this gym has become to my life. So much so that if I cannot get there at least 4 times a week, I become a mess. Half-way through week three of the Girls Night Challenge (month 2.5 of being a Member), I noticed that the little knee pain I was experiencing a couple weeks back wasn’t getting better but worse. I took 3 days off and decided to hit the workouts at a moderate level.
I am mad at my body and it’s beginning to eat me alive.
I am upset that just as I begin to see results, I need to scale it back. This has caused a bit of a snowball effect where my anger is causing me to reach for a bag of chips or that I accept the cinnamon bun my mom offers me. The anger leads to disappointment which has left me in a state of depression. It isn’t a deep set-in depression were I can’t get out of, no. It’s just been a difficult couple of weeks because of the knee injury (and maybe a couple of other things). And I am writing this blog post to just talk about the highs and the lows of a health journey.
In just four weeks, I’ve learned some habits that I feel will last me a lifetime. My eating habits have gone from reaching for candy throughout the whole day to not even thinking about a sugar fix. It’s gone from spending all my money on eating out to saving a couple bucks because I am packing lunches. I’ve learned to appreciate a good homemade salad dressing, learned the art perfectly stemmed broccoli and grateful for that smoothie in the mornings. These habits have saved me. They have in general made me a happier person.
For the most part, my mind has felt clear and my body has been running like a well oil-machine. For the most part, I’ve been sleeping 8 hours a night. My mood has been mostly in a good place. But ever since my knee has started to bother me and I had to take some time off to recharge, I noticed the habits slowly turning back into old ones. Last week was the hardest week. I had to take time off work to really think things through and get in my head in order to finally get out of it. It was also last week that I finally clued in to why I had been feeling so negative. It was my knee (mostly).
Upon returning to the gym, I decided to modify certain workouts. Take a break from most jump movements and ask for modifications on other things. The coaches have been very good at giving pointers, even members/friends have reached out and helped in getting my knee to where it needs to be. I know it’s going to be a journey to get back to pain-free but here I am, still working out, putting down the chip bag and emailing the physio-therapist.
It’s the beginning of a new week and we have two weeks left in this challenge. I am ready to tackle it. With a clear mind and a determination to finish strong. These last two weeks, I won’t be cheating (except for Saturday night when I have scheduled two back-to-back family parties). We will see how I do.