Cunt Post: Where have all the Cunts gone?

How many times do I have to utter the words: THERE AREN’T ENOUGH CUNTS AROUND! Really. It is getting tiresome. Where are my shining examples of really strong women on television? Why aren’t the women on cable network televisions portraying the one’s that I see on a daily basis? Turn on cable television and you’ll be bombarded with many wealthy personalities. If you’re watching the E! Channel, you’ll see nothing but money signs being tossed at the viewer; Kim Kardashian buys a Bentley: watch how bratty the Kardashian sisters can be about material possession; Joan Rivers (God Bless her) not only entertains you about the riches’ garbs but stops them in the street to ask them “HOW DID YOU GET SO RICH?” while making sure you watch her charmed life playout through our living room boxes.

So things where looking pretty bleak until I checked my TWITTER feed to read about the buzz around HBO’s GIRLS! (Girls) which only got me thinking about the past. Television hasn’t always met me with stress and anguish, no sir, no. I’ll never forget the moment Synergy appeared on TV. The fact that a girl had the power to create worlds by the press of an earring totally rocked my 7 year old world. But as of  late the only female character who had main stage on my television has developed a giant corporation behind her name, face and body.  Then one day it dawned on me that if some of us don’t re-cap the best cunts the television world has to offer (according to the person who’s writing this, of course) then they may be forgotten to the obscure few who keep them vigil! No one wants that, trust me.


The best 4 Cunt leading Television series are(FOUR…I could only come up with four…PROBLEMATIC) :


Buffy the Vampire Slayer was something that I passively watched on YTV (a Canadian children’s channel available on basic Cable) when I was in sixth grade. I was intrigued by Buffy and Angel’s relationship but never, admittedly, grew interested in the show nor in Vampire culture as so many of my peers did.  It wasn’t until I grew much older and therefore wiser  that I noticed that Buffy the Vampire Slayer wasn’t just about a romantic relationship between a slayer and a vampire. No, not at all.

First of all, we have a female hero protagonist from 1997! Buffy totally kicks Julia Roberts ass any day of the week. The other strong female role intended for mass audiences in1997 (that I could remember) was My Best Friend’s Wedding. Instead audience members got Julia Roberts yelling and chasing a man around New York City. Whoo-raaah.

Buffy tramps male chasers like Roberts not because she isn’t a male chaser, hello, she’s in love with a demon who’s a boy! There’s no escaping that, no. She tramps them because she isn’t one sided. Buffy doesn’t compromise her feminity for the sake of stakes. Nah-uh! Girl has a well manicured hand while sticking those stakes into the empty hearts of demons. What I absolutely loved about this show was how they tossed the virgin/whore attitude most mass media characters take. Buffy was willed, kicked demon ass and cared about her hair. She wasn’t ashamed of being a slayer nor of being a girl. To an 11 year old who was interested in boyfriends and clothes this was the perfect lore to experiencing the role of a girl who was strong enough to stick pointy sticks into demons.

For another awesome Joss Whedon creation check-out Dollhouse.

Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)

Gilmore Girls! OMFG!  At the mere mention of Gilmore Girls I usually get a giant eye roll or a gasp of glee. Whenever I get a gasp of glee I know I can be friends with that person and the eye roll usually comes from a male friend who just simply DOES NOT get it.  And you know what? It’s totally okay if the male portion of our species does not UNDERSTAND this show. They can’t comprehend EVERYTHING and Gilmore Girls is something that is so 100% feminine that I simply understand why they don’t get it (cuz, duh, men just don’t simply get a goddess). To the exceptional men that do enjoy Gilmore Girls, I salute you.

Lorelai Gilmore and Rory Gilmore are basically the equivalent of Modern Day American Goddesses. They’re smart, witty, beautiful and can eat like horses (they also have a strong sense of entitlement that only an American can ever have *wink*). The show dealt with issues from first time boyfriends, college issues, familial relationships, social status and being true to oneself. I underlined that last bit because underneath, no, the root, no, the central THESIS of this show is all about being true to oneself and the power of the individual. Never, do we see Lorelai or Rory (well sorta never) comprise themselves for certain objectives. And really, in a world where many women often comprise themselves for the sake of societal demands, its really out-of-this-world awesome to have seen a series unfold where neither character gave two-shits about the world’s demands of normalcy and just followed their dreams.

The L Word (2004-2009)

The L Word. I’m not to sure if many have seen this high, and I mean HIGH, drama series of a group of L.A. power Lesbians. The series inspired a reality series that I don’t think many watched (I didn’t) but regardless it broke new ground. By the time this show had rolled around Canada had already legalized gay-marriages (in fact, the show makes Whistler part of its setting when the Lesbians come to Canada to get married to each other! Whoo Go-Canada!).

The show went deep into the world of Lesbians and I’m sure many adolescent boys mainly watched this show to see Lesbian sex. Although the show was highly sexual, it also weaved a group of characters into a great example of the perks of community. It placed importance on community and the relationships built upon it. I don’t want to spoil anything but the last episode of this series is the best example of a pack of wolves sticking together and by pack of wolves, I mean a pack of super glued friends.

—-I WILL NOT MENTION THE PATRIARCHAL BRIBED SEX AND THE CITY – (even if I watch it whenever I feel like consuming McDonalds and telling myself lies).

GIRLS (2012-)

So, now, we come to GIRLS. A show that has just begun and I can’t even really talk about it because I feel like it is, like, my life (well minus all the money but the essentials are there). And whenever I think about Lena Dunham, feelings of self-loathing mixed with high self-esteem start to happen, that I get all confused and fuzzy, that I can’t keep my eyes straight. The characters feel as though they’ve been taking from my life, past, present and most likely future….that it kinda makes me want to cry, it’s so spot on. I’m just glad there’s a show where I can find my fellow cunts portrayed. Cunts who take their power and use it to their advantage. OR RATHER, cunts with no power but still use the illusion of it to their advantage. I’m excited to see this series evolve and to watch some of the characters grow. I’m sure I’ll grow along with them, cuz you know, television and film is kinda important to this cunt.


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